Find Your Fit

FIND YOUR FIT! I’m seeing this everywhere these days representing fitness centers and on billboards in order to gain a following in their community but also in the eyes of becoming a more ‘fit’ individual when you pay for those services.

However, those three words have been hard for me to swallow. I wouldn’t describe myself as a person interested in ‘fitness’ or being ‘fit’. But fitting in with people, connecting deeply and authentically to others has been something I strive for and often am disappointed in. Finding my fit in my career and passions…another idea that has left me dumbfounded.

I started a new job serving/bartending at a summer pop up bar, I teach 20 yoga classes per week, I represent independent businesses by marketing with original photography and unique perspectives. Somehow I manage to fit in personal growth, studying, moving my body and maintaining a social life. An average day in my life isn’t easy, a lot of time spent in the car singing along to higher vibration music to keep my head above water. Eating is a struggle on the go and my bank must think I’m part owner in Colectivo as this coffeeshop holds too many of my on the go meals.

What I’m getting at is I’m fucking busy. I’m fucking tired. I’m struggling to find my fit in life and in the things I love. I’m 100% addicted to the hustle of movement and making money yet have nothing tangible to show for it. Does balance truly exist for anyone?

I feel as if there are many sides of my life, of my story and I shift who or what I am depending on my location and the type of people I am around.

In artistic groups I am a photographer who is making a documentary about my life with an eating disorder.

Around fitness / yoga people I’m a yoga instructor and a traveler who would love to rebrand your image with a photo shoot.

Around spiritual types I nerd out on the 8 limbs, meditation, Ayurveda and my Vipassana experience.

Around my service industry war buddies I’m a seasoned waitress working all over since age 17 asking if you know so and so and what’s your favorite whiskey?

Being multifaceted is awesome. I feel as though I have lived many lives at age 29. I feel like I also need to make a damn decision. What I do for money now can take me anywhere in the world. I truly believe I could be successful in most situations. I am very lucky. I am very lost.

When does one decide to take refuge as a lone wolf or a mindful wanderer when you’re almost 30, you’re single, you have literally zero commitments holding you in one place and a travel bug that won’t leave your body?

How does one find their fit in life and feel fulfilled and hopeful, yet not attached to a fruitful future of love?