Man, have I been in a funk. And by ‘funk’, I’m using a sweeter word rather than the reality that is, I’ve been deep inside depression.
A week on the road from Los Angeles to San Fransisco could not have come at a better time. I needed a change of scenery, the mountain air, to appreciate nature, to hold my camera in my hands again.
This summer has been trying as so much death has been expressing itself. Losing people you care for and seeing ones you love crumble is not an easy feat to deal with. How does one begin to understand or want to work towards moving on and accept the idea that ‘this too shall pass’?
Stepping away from my day to day, California taught me that I can, I will and I owe it to my soul to live the life I want. I used to think that meant finding a job I love that provides enough money to get by. Hopefully that job made me happy and I had someone to come home to. I think many of us feel this way.
My reality is that I struggle to chose a path because so many paths look enticing! As a creative person, an over-thinker and someone who has multiple talents to utilize, picking just one path is overwhelming. I’d rather just lay in bed with my laptop, some food and Netflix, thank you very much.
After two years of travel, uncertainty and deciding where home base should be… I’ve had enough of the self-created drama.
My path is not about making enough money to get by, but one that is full of experiences in self-growth, travel and compassion. I love learning and becoming a better human so I can embrace my life, my body and practice gratitude for all I’ve been given simply by being born into the family & location that I was.
Making art, teaching yoga, sharing meditation practices, storytelling and connecting with others are where my gifts live. These gifts have been turned into jobs I’ve been juggling with fire torches. I’ve been very careful to not get burned. The reality is that these torches have been on slow burn for years. But if I drop the fire, wouldn’t my life implode into full force flames? No, that’s simply not the truth — the opposite would happen. Freedom.
Fear kicks in, ‘Who would I be without my work? I’m not good enough. I don’t have enough money to move away.’
Excitement kicks in ‘Where would I be if I had financial freedom? What if I create a mindset of abundance rather than focusing on scarcity? What if I hone in my focus on my talents? I am deserving of a beautiful life.’
Freedom, the title of a song that has been resonating with me by a band named Dorothy. The song is not particularly poetic or life altering. But her delivery gives you chills. Her emotion evokes the love she has of the road, of California, of her experiences in life.
That, my friends, is the life I’m creating. The day to day you should be creating. One full of whole hearted passion for simply being in existence. Loving life because each day is filled with small, beautiful exchanges that we can all take the time to appreciate.