Break up problems usually occur when flipping through the radio you hear 'our' favorite song. You drive past 'our' old house. You stroll by 'our' favorite coffee shop. You bump into 'our' friends at a show. None of that happens here. All I have are happy memories of us together on these streets, in these cafes, imprints in the sand. If only they'd wash away as beautifully.
What break up problems I do experience are tattooed arms around someone else's waist, long beards with bald heads that aren't yours, Rusty surf t-shirts on everyone. Laughing at something then instantly wanting to tell you about it. Capturing a photograph that I know you'd be proud of. Making a meal I wish I could share with you.
But I'm off it. Romantic love, that is. I'm all about love. I love love. But right now I need to love me and my journey and this path that's led me far, far away from you, from the idea of 'us'. I'm ready to re-root my self. So here I am. New moon, new intentions and lots of motivation.
Here's what I'm loving : my weekly workouts, live music, sharing homemade kombucha, smiling at strangers, giving buskers 2 dollar coins, carrying my camera(s) everywhere, getting my artist shit together, myofascia work, meditation, being kind to myself, working on being unfuckwithable, learning about life from a 3 year old and a 15 year old's perspective, walking anywhere barefoot, coming to peace with food and my body, feeling the burning sun on my shoulders, dreaming about shooting stars.
Romantic love will be back when my heart is wide open and ready. For now I'm treading through heartbreak that's been a long time coming. I finally understand it's over and I am grateful for what I've learned, for who I am, and for all that you taught me and the millions of things we've experienced together.
You'll always be a part of me.